Here are the official lyrics of Lakeport:
OHHHHH ... We had a little party down in Lakeport;
there was Harry, there was Mary, there was Grace.
Oh had a little party down in Lakeport,
and we had to carry Harry to the place.
Oh we had to carry Harry to the ferry,
and we had to carry harry to the shore,
and the reason that we had to carry Harry to the ferry
was that Harry couldn't carry anymore!
the hills are green and dry;
we're off to do or die.
we'll win the game and know the reason why.
And when the game is over,
we will buy a keg of booze
and we'll drink to California till we wobble in our shoes!
So DRINK, tra-la-la, DRINK, tra-la-la,
Drunk last night, drunk the night before,
gonna get drunk tonight like I never got drunk before,
for when I'm drunk, I'm as happy as can be,
for I am a member of the Sauced Family!
Oh the Sauced Famly is the best family
that ever came over from old Germany --
there's the Highland Dutch,
and the Lowland Dutch,
the ROTTERDAM DUTCH,
and the Irish!
Sing Glorious, sing Glorious!
One keg of beer for the four of us!
Sing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
for one of us can drink it all alone, damn near!
Here's to the Irish -- DEAD DRUNK!
Those lucky stiffs ...
they had four fifths ...
a six-pack, too ...
And there was Grandma,
swinging on the outhouse door
without her nighty ...
Grandpa wants to swing some more
(he probably will)
Terry, please get offa my face,
Oh yeeeaaahhh ...
Q: This song has pretty complicated lyrics, and there are differences in a few words between band members. I've asked you to verify the accuracy of the lyrics, so bandos could know exactly how the song is to be sung. What resource did you use?
A: I have a genuine 1984 vintage songbook, printed in mimeograph, complete with the following grammatically-challenged admonition:
"Should this script be tried to be taken from you, you must eat it. Should
you let this script get into enemy hands, you will be forced to bunk with
Doug Root for until the next corn harvest. GUARD IT WELL!"
Q: What is the derivation of this song? Davis (sux) sings it, too, but with slightly different lyrics. The song "Drunk Last Night" is on one of my old LPs of German Beer Drinking songs.
A: There are about 4-5 different songs here, and each college has developed its own version. I just had my mother (an old Berkeley drop-out) read through this and remember a time when only a couple of these had been spliced in beer from the tops of the frat houses. She also wants to know when the term "the Goddamn Dutch" was expurgated in favor of "the Irish."
Q: Who are "Harry, Mary & Grace"?
A: The "Harry" and "California, California" parts Lara believes is part of a Cal song. And I imagine the "Mary" and "Grace" part is an interesting coincidence, and only there for the sake of rhyme!
Q: And why Lakeport? Does the town know it has an unofficial song?
A: These questions
you can ask of Gordon, who grew up in Lakeport.
[Go ahead, ask Gordon!]
Q: Now, what everyone would like to know is: Who is this "TERRY" who we're begging to "please get offa my face"??!!
A: An old scrote by the name of Terry Burkholtz is the one in question, but since this is a bit before Bookmark's time, you'll have to ask Turkey Toes (Brian Morrison). [OK, we'll ask him...]
Anne "Annimal" Palmer (1979) had this memory to pass on: "When I was a young band
member I dated Jim "BJ" Rogers, so I attended some parties with
very old scrotes, like "Pooh Bear " and "Mad Dog" Matteri,
"Turkey Toes" and Denny "Zcleets" Schwitzer and Tom
"Bear" Canterine, "Gross Rusman," etc. I met Terry "Rev.Ozone"
Burkholtz at one of these shindigs. I asked Terry if he was the famous "Terry"
of the Lakeport song. He dumped a beer over my head and refused
to speak to me for months. Now for him to waste beer was unheard of, so
I was either right or he had something to hide.