Madame Vendetta
MOBILE PUMPKINING SERVICE

"I'll-a give 'im a WHAMMY!"

MENU OF SERVICES | HOME |

 

ABOUT THE MADAME

Madame Vendetta was born and raised in the mountains of Sicily. There she learned many fine arts that included cooking, painting horse carts, dress designing and winemaking. She became an avid gardener specializing in gourds and melons, and grew a fine crop of grapes. She helped support her family with the wine sales, resulting in the growth of her popularity and fortunes, despite the rampant poverty and oppression of women in Sicilian society.

She moved to the U.S. with her family in 1965, where she entered the University of Iowa to study clinical psychology. While attending university, she discovered a particular interest in women's issues pertaining to divorce and infidelity. She realized that among these suffering women, there was a great need for revenge, and it seemed appropriate that she create a service to help them. Madame Vendetta's Mobile Pumpkining Service was born.

Madame Vendetta decided to use her abundant crop of pumpkins in various states of decay to help these women. She had a special trebuchet designed by university engineers to fit discreetly within the hood of her 1969 VW Beetle. This one-of-a-kind machine has the ability to quickly and quietly launch a 15 pound pumpkin approximately 300 yards with the push of a button on the Beetle's instrument panel (see photo on the home page). The launch distance and height is completely adjustable, and Madame Vendetta can guarantee target accuracy.

(Tred VW bughe Madame has asked that photos of this amazing and valuable machine not be provided here, as she wishes to keep its design a secret. But here is a photo of her precious Beetle, back in the "good ol'a days.")

Special circumstances may require the use of a helicopter to bring an overly large pumpkin to its target. Madame Vendetta hires only the best helicopter pilots and ensures the safety of all concerned. See testimonials for a unique perspective of how this operation works!

The Madame is also overseeing the engineering of a bio-diesel all-terrain vehicle, and also will have a hybrid car available for the "green option" on her menu.

Working with Madame Vendetta will be a great pleasure, as you enlist her services for your act of revenge.

 

 

 

MENU OF SERVICES | HOME |